i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
