i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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