Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
