You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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