Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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