So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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