doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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