My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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