bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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