You made me cry and you don't even care
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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