Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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