She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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