I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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