I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Did I show you my penis last night?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
