my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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