erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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