I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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