he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
