am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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