Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
