So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she peed on how many people?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
