Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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