we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
