If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
