Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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