I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
