I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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