K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
