Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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