ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Houston, we have a squirter
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
