and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
