I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
