I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
