Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
