That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she told me i tasted like america
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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