they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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