guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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