so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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