My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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