I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
