You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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