Can i not drive my cunt home
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
