How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize