Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
