I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
