I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
