so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize