We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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