im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
