Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
