Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
