This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
