he wants to bone in the snuggie
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Houston, we have a squirter
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
