well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
