it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize