Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
