nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
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