The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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