Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
