it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
