I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
These tits shall not be calmed
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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