? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize